Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
