Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
