Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
