the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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