Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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