You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
