it hurts more in the daytime
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
