the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You're a waste of cheezeits
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
