I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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