She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
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