So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
