Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
