you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize