My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He passed out mid-signature
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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