What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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