You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
