check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
