I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
