I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
