I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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