After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
party gras won. party gras always wins.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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