I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
