I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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