he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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