I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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