wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
