This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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