just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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