we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
