she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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