Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
