She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
