I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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