They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
