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She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
worst night to have a conscience
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
