operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
