i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Found the puke drawer
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
