No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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