This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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