"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it hurts more in the daytime
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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