Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
