sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
