i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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