thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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