dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
tell me about the eggs
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