I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
