I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
