Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
