I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize