Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
