i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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