Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
