Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
