My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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