I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
worst night to have a conscience
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
