i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize