$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
my being single is dangerous.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
