He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
