how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
