Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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