Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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